Just Half A Heart
by DarkAndTwistyGrey
Summary: This fanfiction plays a few years after the tenth season and there are some changes. Cristina and Meredith are still best friends and Dr. Burke is also back. Meredith is pregnant again. What Derek and Meredith do not know is that her baby has a serious heart defect ... But they can count on support of their people ... *REWRITTEN*
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

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**As surgeons we are trained to fix what's broken. The breaking point is our starting line... at work. But in our lives the breaking point is a sign of weakness and we'll do everything we can to avoid it. Bones break. Organs burst. Flesh tears. We can sew the flesh, repair the damage, ease the pain. But when life breaks down...when we break down...there's no science. No hard and fast rules. We just have to feel our way through. And to a surgeon there's nothing worse, and there's nothing better. **Meredith Grey; Here Comes the Flood

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"Derek? We have to go. I have the ultrasound today. "Meredith called up the stairs. She and Derek were late and they had to drop off Zola and Bailey at daycare. "I'm coming. You must not work anyway. Derek called back." Ultrasound." Meredith replied. Sometimes he was a little brainless for a neurosurgeon. A few minutes later he came down the stairs and was ready to go. "Well, now we have to leave." Meredith said slightly annoyed. "Calm down, it is not good for our little baby. We won't be late, Mer, relax." Derek appeased her.

They headed to Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital for Derek's shift and their appointment for the ultrasound.

"I'll drop the kids off at daycare." Derek offered. "Oh, right. Sure." Meredith relented. She gave Zola a small kiss on the cheek and ruffled Bailey briefly through his Derekhair.

In the parking lot Meredith met Cristina. "You're still working?" She asked surprised. "I thought you were on maternity leave." "I am, but I am tired of sitting at home and not doing anything. I am a surgeon. We cut." Meredith said, her person looked at her skeptically, then she exclaimed laughing: "Surgical junkie. you are a surgical junkie and won't admit it."

"I am not." Meredith protested half-heartedly.

"Admit it, Mere." Then she asked.. "Did not the ultrasound today" Meredith nodded and turned around.

"Who is that?" She asked in surprise, pointing to a known person.

"Burke?" Exclaimed a scared Cristina. "What the heck is he doing here?" She asked Meredith in a horrified voice.

It had been seven years since she saw him, and that was on the non wedding, where he left her and Seattle until now. Meredith turned to go." I'll go. I'll see you inside." "Oh, no, Meredith." Cristina said frantically. "Do not go away."

"It's all right. I'll stay here for moral support." Meredith reassured Cristina.

That was a relief for Cristina. "Good." She replied. Preston Burke walked towards Cristina. "What are you doing here?" Cristina asked angrily. "What are you doing here?" She repeated. "I just here for..." Preston replied to Cristina's question.

Without saying a word, Cristina turned away and ran to the hospital. Meredith threw Burke an apologetic look before she ran after Cristina.

"Cristina, wait." Meredith called aloud. But Cristina did not turn around.

"Cristina, damn it, wait for me." She finally found Cristina alone in the locker room, where she sat on the bench and motionless staring straight ahead.

"Cristina?" She asked softly.

"Talk to me." "He's back." She said in a choked voice. She nods understandingly. "If you want to talk about it ..." "I'm fine." "Really fine or Meredith-fine? I mean, I could ..."" It's nothing, it does not bother me that Burke is back. Didn't you schedule the ultrasound appointment today with your gynecologist?" Recalled Cristina Meredith' memory.

_God, today's ultrasound appointment._

_I totally forgot._

"Oh." She was terrified. "I forgot. Shit, I gotta go."

Derek was already there, waiting for his wife.

"Where have you been?" He asked his wife. Meredith replied out of breath: "Burke is back." "Back? What do you mean?""He is here." " "What about Cristina?" Derek asked. "She said it would not matter, but I think she's too proud to admit, she's being Cristina." Meredith conjectured. Then the gynecologist entered the examination room.

"Good morning, Dr. ..." "Grey." Meredith helped her. "Well, Dr. Grey, you must make your free time, so can make the ultrasound?" Asked the friendly gynecologist. Meredith followed her statement. Derek held Meredith' hand as the two watched transfixed on the monitor. "The but everything looks pretty good ... ", but then she stopped at the heart of their daughter. She enlarged and reduced image and stared hardly at the screen.

Meredith and Derek were getting nervous.

"What is it?" Meredith broke the tense silence. Only the clicking of the monitor could be heard. "There is, unfortunately, the suspicion that your daughter has a serious heart defect."The gynecologist told Meredith and Derek.

"A heart defect?" Derek asked, shocked. He and Meredith had to digest that fact for now.

_A heart defect ?! That could be anything._

_It can be small holes in the septum to highly complex malformations of cardiac chambers and the surrounding vessels._

_Heart defects were the most common congenital abnormalities in infants._

"I'm about to page someone from cardiology and then ..."

"No." interrupted Meredith, who was awakened from her stupor, the gynecologist. "Page Cristina Yang and Arizona Robbins. Tell them it's high urgent." "Okay." The gynecologist took her pager and paged Cristina Yang and Arizona Robbins for a consult.

Cristina was still in the locker room, when she got the pager call from Meredith. She stood up and sprinted. On the way she spoke to Jo Wilson still, they wanted to ask something. "Dr. Yang, I need you for a consultation ..."

"Not now." Cristina interrupted the assistant doctor and ran on.

Arizona just checked the values of a baby in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and was writing something down in the medical record, as her pager started beeping. She glanced at it: 911 for Meredith. She started to run past nurses and sisters who scared a set aside did when Arizona came running around the corner. Finally, she reached her destination and pushed the door open, panting.

After a few minutes Cristina entered the exam room.

"Meredith?" She asked in surprise when she saw Meredith on the examination table.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

Derek replied quietly: "There is the suspicion of a serious heart defect. Our daughter, she may have a heart defect ... "

"Okay. " She tried to get a hold of herself and put her person a hand on her shoulder. She looked even more fragile than ever before. Cristina said: "Mer, it will be all right. The diagnosis of heart failure does not mean that your baby dies. Today, there are ways and means to save the lives of these babies. Even highly complex heart defects can be treated well today. Listen, Meredith, it's not hopeless. "

Meredith nodded and wiped tears from the eye. Derek stroked his wife gently on the cheek. "Come on, Meredith, we can do that. Whether our daughter has a heart defect or not." "Yeah. Okay. Cristina ..."

"Meredith, I can help your baby. I can do this.", Now also reassured Cristina their person before they set about to sound the heart of the little ones. It expresses the slimy gel on the transducer and started.

First four-chamber view, then five-chamber view and then the heart valves ... They also looked focuses on the monitor, clicked again and again to other views. "What is it?" Derek asked tense, trying also to take a look at the monitor. Then the door was opened carefully. Arizona, pediatric surgeon, came in.

"Dr. Grey? Dr. Shepherd?" She asked in surprise. "I was paged."

Cristina said, without taking your eyes off the monitor ". Dr. Robbins, look at this one please," Cristina asked the pediatric surgeon.

"Oh, shit." She said softly. "That can not be true ..." Meredith thought only after looking at the monitor. Cristina Arizona and talked for a while. Derek and Meredith were increasingly nervous.

_What persuaded the then only for so long. _

_That could only mean that it was really a heart defect._

Meredith sat there tense, Derek sat in a chair next to it and held Meredith' hand. "It's definitely a heart defect." Meredith said resignedly. "Do not lose courage." Derek gave her encouragement. He tried it at least ...

"I do not lose anything." Meredith hissed irritably. "But that here proves that my babies ... that it is my fault, me and my crappy genes. One comes amidst the storm to the world and I almost bled to death if Bailey would not have saved me and now our little girl has a life-threatening heart defect."

Derek knew that was just the pregnancy hormones and the situation. As Arizona Robbins and Cristina Yang behaved, it seemed to be a bad heart defect.

_There are very many dangerous, sometimes life-threatening heart defects. _

_Double Inlet Left Ventricle Double outlet right ventricle, pulmonary atresia with ventricular septal defect, Left Ventricle Outflow Tract Obstruction, Hypoplastic left heart syndrome, Interrupted aortic arch, transposition of the great vessels, tetralogy of Fallot, unbalanced atrioventricular septal defect ..._

Then Cristina and Arizona with serious faces turned to the expectant parents.

"Well, we ..." Arizona began. She was interrupted by Dr. Cristina Yang. "Meredith and Derek, I'm sorry, but we have a large anomaly (anomaly) of the left ventricle can find." "What ?!" Derek was horrified. He looked at Meredith. She seemed to have not registered, what her person had just said.

Derek ran his hand gently Meredith' cheek.

"Hey, Mer. You've heard Cristina. Many heart defects can now routinely by one or more operations treat." "I know." Meredith said. Yet another reaction she did not show.

Derek sighed and turned to Arizona and Cristina, who stood with serious faces before them. "And that's not all. Also, your little girl has a congenital coarctation of the aorta, which adversely affect the flow of blood to the aorta ascendes (ascending aorta) and may lead to a deterioration of coronary and cerebral blood flow." Which was Arizona.

"How do we proceed?" Derek asked, his arm wrapped around Meredith. "As soon as the baby is born, we are doing an echocardiography, an electrocardiogram and a pulse oximetry to find out how big is the extent of cyanosis and can give indirect information about the perfusion." Cristina said, fully in doctor mode.

"This is the normal procedure in babies with or suspected Left Heart Hypoplasia."

"Meredith?" Derek tried to get his wife's attention. "Yes?" She responded without looking at him. "Is everything okay with you?" Derek asked anxiously.

Now she looked at him. Angry. "Are you serious? How could you dare to ask something like that after they just explained to us that our baby has a life-threatening heart defect, with whom she would not even survive the first week of life without open heart surgery ?!" Meredith screamed so loud that they even heard in the corridor.

Arizona came up to Meredith.

She said empathetically... "I know you're feeling angry and helpless ... And you wonder why it has to be you, that feel all parents whose children are born with heart defects. This is normal, but the important thing is children are strong, especially those who are born with a heart defect." Meredith calmed down a bit after Arizona had spoken to her.

However, the diagnosis of congenital heart disease was still like a slap in the face.

"And what happens now?" Meredith asked.

"We will perform more frequent ultrasound examinations to term and once you've given birth, your girl is brought to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and treated there with medication to hold open the patent ductus arteriosus. The infant needs it to be open, otherwise she'll go into cardiogenic shock. Towards the end of the first week, the first heart surgery is going to be performed. It's called the Norwood Procedure I."

"How does the surgery work?" Derek asked to Cristina.

"You can choose between two different kind of surgical procedures." She began, but was stopped by the neurosurgeon asking a question. "What would that be?" Derek prodded. "It even stand the Norwood procedure with modified Blalock- Taussig- shunt and there is a variant that is the Norwood procedure with Sano- shunt." Cristina replied to Derek's questions.

_So the carousel never stops turning and you can´t get off even if you want to..._

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_**A/N: I know, this story has been posted before. And let´s face it: my grammar and vocabulary wasn´t very good back then. But I´d appreciate it if you could give this story a second try... maybe... Reviews are greatly appreciated.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

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**Patients say it all the time: 'Tell me straight up. I just want to know what's going on. Tell me, I can handle it.' We don't dodge your questions because we're mean. We do it because when you say you want the truth, you have no idea what you're talking about. They say the truth will set you free. What the hell do they know? The truth is horrible. Frightening. The truth is more than you can bear. We're supposed to be straight with you, so be careful what you ask for when you walk into a hospital. Because when you find out what's really going on, you may never recover.** Meredith Grey; She´s Killing Me

* * *

"We will perform more frequent ultrasound examinations to term and once you've given birth, your girl is brought to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and treated there with medication. Towards the end of the first week, the first heart surgery is performed, so the Norwood Procedure I." "How does the operation work?" Derek asked to Cristina turned. "It chooses between two variations."

"What would that be?" Derek prodded. "It even stand the Norwood procedure with modified Blalock- Taussig- shunt and there is a variant that is the Norwood procedure with Sano- shunt." Cristina replied to Derek's questions.

"What are the differences between modified Blalock- Taussig- shunt and shunt Sano-?" Meredith asked. "In the modified Blalock- Taussig- shunt an aorto-pulmonary connection is established for the pulmonary circulation. That is, there is a shunt from the right brachial artery applied to the right pulmonary artery. In addition, the atrial septum is removed so that the blood from the left atrium for free can right heart flow. " "And there are other options? What about a hybrid operation?"

"A hybrid operation is only considered when a Norwood surgery is contraindicated." "How does a hybrid surgery work?" Derek asked as he held Meredith' hand to give her the much- needed strength.

"It is the right and left pulmonary artery created a Goretex ribbon and then held arteriosus open using a stent of the duct. The actual reconstruction follows along with the operation Glenn- aged about 4- 7 months." Arizona replied to this question , "But first Norwood should be considered." "And what happens then?" Meredith asked dejectedly. For them, a normal day had developed into the worst nightmare of every parent ...

"However, it could be that your baby has other abnormalities, such as malrotation of the intestine or pyloric stenosis." Arizona Robbins informed the parents sadly, but she did not show it.

_It was really a nightmare. _

_A freaking nightmare you want to wake up from it but you can´t._

_And you realize that the nightmare, you were sure is a dream, has become reality..._

_And there is no waking up from up..._

_At the end of Derek and Meredith had no idea how they got out of the exam room. _

_Both were completely shocked..._

_Suspected diagnosed was H.L.H.S._

_Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, the most complex heart defect there is._

"I wanna go home. Derek." Meredith said when they were outside of the exam room. Arizona threw them a concerned as well worried look before she was paged away. Cristina sighed as she met the couple on the floor. She just shattered both of their hopes to get a healthy baby.

"Mer." She simply said.

Meredith looked up at Cristina, watery tears in her eyes.

"Just don´t go all dark and twisty on me." Considering the situation, this was a joke and the absurdity of this sentence was just ...

But they were Meredith and Cristina, the twisted sisters and people mostly don´t understand any of what they say to each other. But Meredith understood what her person wanted to say. ´Just don´t go all dark and twisty on me´ is the code for Stay strong, Mer. You´ve come so far and you´ll make it through this. You just have to keep the faith.

She nodded and let Cristina hug her. Normally, they don´t do hugs, but this was a different situation.

"I think I want to go home. First we have to get the kids from daycare." She told Derek, and was half talking to Cristina...

But then the cardiothoracic surgeon was paged and left just as Arizona. When the couple got home, Derek managed to get Meredith to eat something and Amelia helped them to put the kids to bed. When Derek came into the bedroom, he saw a fragile figure laying on their bed... He joined her.

Meredith was laying on the bed, turned his face to the wall and stared at it. Derek layed next to her, stroking her hair. Both were trying to wrap their minds around the things they have to deal with. Things that aren´t easy to deal with. A diagnosis that requires surgery, risky surgery more than only once. At least three surgeries in order to give their little one a shot at life.

"What are we gonna do, Derek? There is a actual chance that our baby dies soon after birth." Meredith' voice broke through the silence.

Derek let out a desperate sigh.

He did not know these answer. For all he knew that they were strong together and that they will get through this together- whatever it takes. "I don´t know the answers to these questions, Mer. But I do know that we will get through all of this mess together. And remember, Grey- Shepherds are resilient, so McFetus in there, is too." He told her.

"Do you remember my last pregnancy with Bailey?" She suddenly said. Derek grunted an affirmative 'Hmmm', but never said anything coherently.

"I acted like a total hypochondriac, back then all of you just laughed. Yeah, Alex said, a heart defect or cleft palate would be occuring more often in babies... All these horror scenarios were gone the second I held Bailey in my arms but now they´re back..." Meredith rambled, clearly could not stop on which Derek couldn´t blame her for once. Actually, he always had loved her rambling. It makes her adorable and it was cute ...

Derek sat up. "What do you mean with that?" He asked, demanding to know, but he kept his voice down. He did not want to wake the kids who were sleeping soundly in their beds, totally unaware of what was going on.

"It´s nothing ... probably near idiotic, but ..." Meredith stuttered, but her words did not add up, they just did not make any sense.

"Meredith, calm down. Calm down." Derek soothed her like he did with his kids if they weren´t feeling well or just fussy...

* * *

The next morning neared and Meredith refused reluctantly to get up. "Meredith, please. I know this is going to be hard on you, as it is going to be hard on all of us- Zozo, Bai and our daughter... We will all suffer, that´s for sure, one more than the other. If we are lucky, the kids won´t understand what is happening at first, but they will be confused of course."

"You mean like preparing them for what is happening? You mean we should 'em about their sibling being born with a sick heart?"

Maybe we should. A least Zo, 'cause she is the older one and more attentive than Bai, he is definitely to young to understand, but Zozo might get it." He explains to her. "Come on, Mer. Get up."

"Don´t have to. I am on maternity leave. Have fun." She told him, avoiding his glance.

Derek gave up and went downstairs. Bailey and Zola were already up. Amelia was standing in the kitchen and made pancakes for the kids. "Hey, Derek. I haven´t heard you people come home last night. Where were you?" She asked and scanned him with a knowing look on her face. She knew something was going on. It´s the thing with siblings.

"Are you going to tell me now what is going on with you and Meredith? Has it something to do with the unborn baby..." Amelia´s voice shuddered at the thought of her 'unicorn baby'. Her boy had been born without a brain and therefore died. She decided to donate the organs of her baby boy so that other babies that still have a shot at life, can be saved with an organ transplant.

Derek nodded, unable to conceal it any longer.

And he needs to talk to somebody since Mark isn´t here anymore...

"Yes, Amy. It is about our baby." He confirmed. "Is everything okay with its ... " She swallowed hardly. "... brain?"

Derek looked at his youngest sister. "Why wouldn´t it? It is her heart the ultrasound showed an abnormality on the heart." Amy did not answer, she looked at the ground desperately avoiding Derek´s gaze.

"Amy. Were you pregnant? And your baby died because of a brain thing?" Derek exclaimed, studying Amelia closely. He hoped it wasn´t true, but seemingly it was.

"Yes, Derek. I got pregnant while I was high on drugs. Later I discovered that my baby has no brain." She confessed, her voice strong.

_What? Amy had been... _

_That must have been after the relapse and the thing with Ryan._

_No brain. Slowly the words sink in. His little sister has had a baby and it died._

_No brain meant it was born with anencephaly._

Derek did not know what to say to Amy. He looked at her stunned.

"Oh, Amy I did not know. I am so so sorry." He said, dull pain sounding in his voice, although he now sees things in another perspective: Amy´s baby couldn´t be saved. A life without a brain is not possible, but for their baby... Their is still hope. His baby´s brain is working...

"Have you told mum?" He asked silently.

Amelia shook her head. "Only Addison and the others at Ocean Side Wellness know about this. Now, enough about me and what I lost."

She paused. "Your baby... is it healthy?" Derek shook his head and feels his chest tighten at the same time.

"They diagnosed it with a possible CHD." Derek told his sister, who breathed in sharply. He knew she was thinking about her dead baby. "Hey, Derek. I am sure your baby will make it." Amelia reassured her big brother.

* * *

The kids were sitting at the kitchen table, both of them were painting.

Only Zola looked up a few times.

Suddenly it ringed on the door. "I´ll open it." Zola exclaimed happily, and ran to the front door. Alex was standing there, wet. It was raining again. It is Seattle, almost every day it rains in seattle. "Uncle Alex." She jumped up and down. "Zo. Happy to see you. Where is your mummy and daddy?" "Daddy´s in the kitchen and mummy´s upstairs. Daddy says she isn´t feeling well."

When he heard Derek and Amelia taliking in the kitchen, he cleared his throat to get their attention.

Instantly he had both of their attention.

"Alex." Derek was surprised to see him here. "Is something going on between you and Jo." Alex shook his head and told him: "I am here because of Meredith. Cristina told me what happened and i thought she could use some sort from the best fellow peds surgeon there is."

"Your ego is pretty huge, isn´t it?" Amelia commented.

"Amelia. Stop it." Derek scolded her.

"Nah, it´s okay."

"Dad ..." piped Zola and showed him a self-painted picture of a house and a sun and a tree. "Very good, Zola. You did great." He praised his daughter and smiled for a few seconds. "Show the picture Auntie Amy, will you?" Zola nodded and smiled at her father, who had to laugh then. She was just too sweet, he found. Zola went to Amelia and showed her also the self-painted picture. She praised Zola just as her daddy did before.

"Wow, Zozo, the picture is great. How did you do that?"" Dada." Bailey made a sound and stumbled against her feet. Amelia inevitably had to grin. Then she became serious again. "Should I talk to Meredith now? "She asked quietly. "Yes, little Shep, you try your luck with now again dark and twisty Meredith." Alex inspired the young doctor. Derek looked weird from the side, but Alex took it easy.

"I do not know what it should be funny or amusing about any of this." He said irritably at one of his wife´s best friends except Cristina who was at the hospital and taking up on paperwork as they speak.

"Hey, Derek. You can make it. A heart defect is no longer a death sentence anymore. Lots of babies survive even the very sick ones, of course there are exceptional cases where the babies die soon after birth because of the closure of the PDA, but most important is that we have a chance to treat the medical condition your daughter will be born with." The young pediatric surgeon tried to help Derek and obviously, it worked.

Derek did not show more than a weak grin. Alex really had a wry sense of humor.

Alex looked questioningly at Derek when he did not answer immediately.


End file.
